Do you know this cartoon from Adam Ellis? Well, that kind of sums it up.
2016 started out really great. During the first half of the year I learned a lot of new things. I went skiing for the first time in my life and didn't suck at it (or that's what people told me), did a pottery class, saw the Sisters of Mercy live, quit sugar and spent most of the football matches in which Germany played running through my deserted village listening to that one album by Soilwork. One sunday morning I ran 5 km in 30 minutes and 14 seconds without even trying. Hillary was on top, my job got waaaay better, I was getting rid of lots of stuff I didn't need anymore, there were a pregnancy and several weddings (not mine, but I caught the flower bouquet). Life was good.
The man and I were preparing for our life together, this time for good. We found a flat, we found a way to make the move happen, we made the move happen. After that we both had some adventure time, he in the north, I in the south. I got some freckles on my nose, I got soaked more times than I care to remember, I got ill, I got better again. My feet hurt, my shoulder hurt, but I kept on walking. I didn't see an elk, but I think I heard one.
But when I got home, somehow, the spell was broken. I still don't fully understand why or how exactly things went wrong. I don't want to go into detail, and right now it doesn't matter. What matters is that I am finally able to accept it, because that is the first step to change it. It took me quite some time to get to this point, but since it's still 2016, I guess it counts.
Honestly I don't know yet what to expect from and hope for in 2017 because I am so taken up with the current situation. My list with good intentions is written, but everything else is still shrouded by fog. Manage expectations and disappointments, make baby steps, celebrate small victories. Hang in there. That's all we can do, right?
I hope you are well, had a good end-of-the-year holiday and spent some time with your loved ones. 2017 means 365 fresh days to make it a good year. Should be enough. :)